Here’s how to stop out of control parents at our kids’ games

On this AM’s show, I discussed an issue that we have covered, analyzed, and dissected many times on this show over the years, and yet…..every time another ugly incident pops up in the headlines, I feel a compulsion to go back and discuss it with sports parents and coaches yet again.

I’m talking about out of control parents at their kids’ games. Those parents who lose control of their emotions, and suddenly are screaming horrible things at the refs, opposing players, the coaches, and too often, at their own kids who are playing in the game.

You know what I’m talking about….

The good news is that over the last 25 years since we’ve been addressing this issue, the number of out of control parent incidents have come down  in number. Two decades ago, we were dealing with a true national epidemic of parents who felt entitled to yell and scream at their kids’ games. Refs and umps were being physically attacked by parents in parking lots after the games…and sometimes, even during the games.

Parents would confront coaches about their kid’s lack of playing time…and get in their face right after the game…and occasionally at half-time.

Parents would scream and yell at not just their kid during the game…but also take the bold move of yelling at their kid’s teammates to pass the ball, or to hustle more, or to play better defense, or whatever.  These parents had no shame in yelling at the kids of other parents!

Mind you, these parents were not inebriated…or high on drugs….or mentally unstable…no, these are Moms and Dads who live in the community, who send their kids to school, have jobs, and by all conventional standards, are fairly well adjusted people….except that when it comes to their kids and sports, they just can’t seem to keep their emotions under control.

I recall that Oprah Winfrey even invited me to be on her national TV show to discuss the issue. When I met with her before the show, she said to me: “Rick, I don’t much about sports….and I don’t have any kids….but I know that sports parents are totally losing control at their kids’ games.”

And she was absolutely right.

Back 20 years ago, the problem was so bad that lot and lots of communities instituted mandatory sports parenting seminars which every Mom and Dad had to attend BEFORE their kid was allowed to play on a local youth team. If you as the parent didn’t go through the seminar, or didn’t attend, your kid paid the price. He or she couldn’t register to play in the games.

There was an article in the Wash Post a few months ago in which I was interviewed about what we have learned from those dark days….and you know me:  I have always maintained that there should be a zero tolerance policy for sports parents at games….if you can’t keep your mouth shut, or say only positive things, then when you cross the line, either the ref, or ump, or league official will stop the game, ask you to leave immediately….and most importantly, you are banned for the rest of the season. No exceptions. No alibis.

Your kid can keep playing….it’s not his or her fault that their parent is a jerk. But you have just forfeited your privilege of going to their games.

I honestly don’t understand why parents don’t get this very simple mandate. Somehow, I guess they feel they are entitled to be obnoxious at sporting events because they have paid some sort of fee to have their kid on the team. Somehow, it’s like paying for a ticket for a pro game which gives you the right to be obnoxious at those games too.

Anyhow, the problem is….these situations still continue on. And I do think the root of this issue has to do with a sense of parental entitlement….which drives a lot of this anger, and somehow the parent feels they have a right to intervene.

I invite you to take a listen to the podcast. The phone calls are spirited as well as insightful.