ABUSIVE SPORTS PARENTS: Refs, Officials, and Umps are Quitting in Record Numbers

I want to revisit the growing and alarming issue of HS officials, refs, and umpires dropping off in bigger and bigger numbers.

We are now at a crisis level, especially with HS football refs. With each passing season, it’s just more and more difficult to find and keep game officials.

And why the drop off? By all accounts – and by the way, this is truly a national concern — it’s the result of out of control sports parents who attend their kid’s games. They’re the main reason why we have such a drop-off with the refs. No one wants to be verbally abused and in some cases, physically attacked, by some obnoxious sports parent who is watching his youngster in the game.

This past week I spoke at the Westchester County (NY) Football Officials Association. I had a wonderful time with those distinguished and dedicated gentlemen. But to be candid, every ref  I spoke to told me that it’s never been more difficult to work HS football games for the reason just outlined. And because of that, it’s even harder to attract and keep new members into the ranks.

Let me provide some headlines from across the country – my thanks to our friend Doug Abrams out at the Univ of Missouri School of Law who searches the internet to find sports parenting articles of interest.

I’m going to rattle off a bunch of recent headlines from this past October, and you’ll see what I mean:

FROM TEXAS: Abuse causes shortage of high school football game officials –

FROM CHICAGO: Referees quitting at record rate because of abuse from parents, players and coaches

FROM ASSOCIATED PRESS: Abuse Causes Shortage of High School Football Game Officials

FROM PITTSBURGH: HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS OFFICIALS SHORTAGE A REAL PROBLEM

And from the Harvard University Gazette: a 2017 study reveals that 80% of the refs who join the ranks quit within two years. Why? Because of having to deal with angry and obnoxious sports parents.

In short, the time has finally come to address this issue, and to try and come up with some workable solutions.

My personal belief is that a lot of this has to do with the explosive growth of travel and club teams. Parents are paying tremendous amounts of money not to mention time and energy to see their kids become stars. and earn a college scholarship. So if a ref makes a call that goes against the kid, the parent becomes angry and is outraged, as if that call is going to cause the kid a scholarship.

Parents feel a sense of entitlement. They feel entitled to yell and scream whenever they want when they go to pro sports events. I guess they must think the same privilege applies to amateur sports as well. Clearly that privilege is never appropriate in any venue.

Here are some of the suggestions that callers had this AM:

ENFORCE ZERO TOLERANCE

Make sure the refs – and the coaches as well – have the power to stop the game at any time and force an obnoxious to leave.

Make sure the troublemaker is not only ejected from that game – but for the reason of the season.

Why? Because an adult should know how to behave at a sporting event. And if they don’t, then punish them so they never forget. Watching your kid in a game is a privilege. And if you don’t understand that simple reality, well, there’s no need for you to be there.

MANDATORY PRE-SEASON — AND MID-SEASON — MEETINGS WITH OFFICIALS

Arrange to have the sport’s officials come to a mandatory meeting with all of the parents. Allowing the refs to speak and interact with the Moms and Dads in person will help reinforce that they are just people -and parents – like they are. It will, ideally, get parents to think twice about verbally abusing them.

And by the way, have a follow-up meeting mid-season to reinforce the same message.

WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT?

There’s a famous sign posted in many hockey rinks, which basically says: “Parents, if you feel our refs aren’t that good at working your kids’ games, why don’t you sign up, take the ref courses, and become a hockey official yourself?”

That’s a real good way of reinforcing the point of why parents need to think twice before opening their mouth.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THERE ARE NO REFS?

And that’s the point. If we get to the point where there are no more refs, umps, or officials, then our kids’ games become pick-up games.

Parents, you need to always keep that in mind. Remember, these refs aren’t in this for the money. They’re simply trying to give back.