RIck Wolff 9/26/21 RIck Wolff 9/26/21

it’s time to save the game of baseball

My two guests this AM on my WFAN Sports Radio — Kevin Gallagher and Jeff Frye — are two former professional baseball players who, like myself, are very worried that the current game of baseball is ruining the entertainment value of the sport by making it flat-out boring. Too much emphasis on trying to hit a homerun, too many strikeouts, and too many defensive shifts are driving down TV ratings and attendance. Kevin and Jeff are teaming up with a national movement called Save the Game. Take a listen to the podcast.

RIck Wolff 9/19/21 RIck Wolff 9/19/21

A look at the future of amateur sports

On this morning’s show on WFAN Sports Radio, I presented a number of predictions regarding the world of sports parenting and youth and amateur sports. In light of what has been tumultuous times for athletes, I wanted to share some thoughts with my listerners, and not surprisingly, they came up with excellent observations as well.

Among the key predictions:

Only a small number of college and HS athletes are going to make any real money from NIL deals. The teammates who don’t make any money are not going to be very happy.

Old school baseball will come back – baseball has become so boring and so painful to watch this year that the pendulum is going to swing back. Right now, we have what’s known as “three outcome baseball” – a batter either walks….strikes out…or hits a Homer…and that’s not very often. The game will bounce back. And soon.

I think it’s inevitable that, at some point, travel and club teams will have to be overseen by some sort of federal or national authority…or a Commissioner of Youth Sports. Parents everywhere need real guidance, and somewhere to turn to if they feel their kid has been shortchanged.

The booming growth of HS athletic powerhouses around the country will need to be regulated. Schools like the IMG Academy have turned the world of HS sports upside down.

And these predictions just got the conversation started. For a lively discussion, be sure to listen to the podcast here.

Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21 Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21

COACHING TIPS: The Plight of the Bench warmer – Part II

Because of the overwhelming reaction to my show last week about bench warmers, and what happens to the psyche of a kid who rarely gets into a game, I felt compelled to return to this topic during one of my on-air segments today.

Not surprisingly, the phone lines lit up immediately. More and more heart-wrenching stories from parents who felt their youngster was short-changed by the HS coach in terms of playing time.

Now, of course, my show is open to anyone to call in and voice an opinion. I realize that can be a two-edged sword, meaning that callers can make claims or put forth statements that may or may not be true. After all, we don’t have the time, personnel, or money to fact-check or to do due diligence on our callers.

And I realize that, emotionally, callers may exaggerate the facts of their kids sitting on the bench in HS, or rarely getting into games.

On the other hand, I also recognize that perception is key in all of these cases. That is, if a parent feels strongly that the coach never put their kid into a contest, even though the reality may be that the kid DID play on occasion, the parental perception may be totally skewed. Yet at the end of the day, the parent is convinced that the coach was unfair and insensitive to their son’s or daughter’s plight. So, in effect, while the reality may be different from the caller’s claims, the perception is that the kid got gypped in terms of playing time.

PERCEPTION V. REALITY

One caller this AM told a story about his daughter who he admitted was not a superstar soccer player, but was good enough to make the varsity team. Yet she never got into games. In one match, the father recalled with vivid detail and with great sadness, his daughter’s team was winning 11-2, and the coach made sure to get in lots of girls from the bench into the lopsided affair. Every girl, that is, except his daughter.

The Dad, of course, was crushed. His daughter came home in tears. Subsequently, the girl went to the coach and asked why she had been left on the sidelines. The coach – -and again, this is from the father’s account – told the girl that “I only play those girls who show enough talent that will develop.”

In other words, the coach was basically confirming to his player that she wasn’t very good, and that in the coach’s opinion, she would never be good enough to get into a game.

Now, let’s be honest. I don’t have all the facts in this account. I don’t know the girl, her Dad, the team, the coach, nothing. Maybe the Dad forgot to tell me that his daughter was lazy in practice. Or didn’t go to all the practices. I have no idea. But assuming that he was giving the facts in a straightforward manner, and that his daughter went to all the practices and worked hard, then this kind of story is very upsetting.

COACH, IT’S UP TO YOU TO PLAY ALL THE KIDS…

As a former youth, college, and professional coach, I still work from the philosophy that if a coach allows a youngster to make his or her team, then that means that the coach should have enough faith and confidence to play the kid when possible. Notice I didn’t say that the youngster should start. Nobody would argue that. But if the youngster makes the team, that strongly suggests that he or she had enough talent to convince the coach that they can participate in games. And honestly, the kid (and their parents) probably feel the same way.

Furthermore, Coach, if you play your bench warmers or subs even for a little bit of time in each game, that will allow them to increase and build their sense of self-confidence, and will lift their spirits to feel that they are contributing to the overall team effort. Even better, in my coaching experience, kids tend to raise their game to a higher level when the coach says, “Okay, you’re in!”

In short, Coach, if the kid’s on your team, find a way to play him or her. You’ll be amazed at the positive results!

Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21 Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21

SOCIAL MEDIA CONCERNS: The Inherent Dangers of Social Media for Young Athletes

Tom Pincince is a long-time assistant director of athletics at Central Connecticut State University. A former three-sport athlete and college football player, he has been involved in sports for much of his life.

But along the way – especially because he has three young daughters 0 he has quietly carved a niche for himself as an expert on social media, and how vital it is for parents and coaches to educate young athletes about the dangers of social media. Over the last several years, Tom has done presentations to dozens of schools throughout Connecticut, and his website (TakeThisPlayOff.com) has become quite popular.

A generation ago, terms like Twitter…Facebook…Vine…Snapchat…Instagram….and so on just didn’t exist. And yet today, all of these media outlets are everywhere AND the younger generation is not only well aware of these social media outlets, but are fluent with them. Problem is, too many young people – especially middle school and HS athletes — will post upsetting comments online without really thinking through the potential consequences. That is, for example, a young athlete might post something on Twitter that voices his or her displeasure or unwanted comments, and think that only their close friends are reading it. Then the athlete finds out that when you post on Twitter, it’s akin to standing on a mountain top and shouting to the rest of the world your inner-most thoughts and sentiments.

ONCE IT’S OUT THERE…IT’S TOO LATE

There are countless examples of top athletes who have lost college scholarship offers due to misguided tweets. There’s a famous case of a college football player from Elon who tweeted how unhappy he was with his lack of playing time, and made some other terrible comments about his coach, and that went viral. Not good.

Because once something is online, it’s there forever. And too few teenagers or college kids seem to understand that a social media posting can really come back to haunt them when applying to college, or for a job, or whatever.

Pincince makes the analogy that parents give kids a cellphone when they are young and simply say, “Go have some fun.” Says Tom: “But you wouldn’t give the keys to the family car to a young kid without first training them on how to operate the vehicle, make sure they have plenty of safety training, and so on. So how come we don’t do the same thing with our kids and cellphones and social media?”

He makes a most valid point. I have personally turned down job applicants a few years out of college who, once I checked out their Facebook page, realized this was someone I didn’t want to be associated with. Kids need to know just how public all of their posting is.

I know being a sports parent these days is becoming more and more complicated, but please take the time to talk with your kids about social media and explain to them how to be very, very careful when posting anything at all via social media.

Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21 Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21

CONFLICT OF INTEREST? Should HS Coaches Be Allowed to Run Summer Club Teams or Offer Private Coaching Sessions for Pay to their Players?

Over the last several months, I have received numerous emails from sports parents who are understandably baffled when they discover that their kid’s HS school coach basically moonlights in the off-season or summer time by running either a travel/club team or offers private coaching tutorials. And of course, these are paid situations.

Of course, the coaches rarely say that his HS players have to sign up to be on these teams or private instruction, but there’s an understated expectation that if a kid is entertaining serious hopes to garner much playing time, then he really needs to be on the coach’s team.

In short, no matter how you slice it, the HS coach is getting paid by the kid, or more likely, the kid’s parents.

Now, as I made clear on my WFAN show this AM, I certainly have no issue with any HS coach wanting to make a few extra dollars in the off-season. That’s fine. But I really do wish there were some clear-cut guidelines as to what the coach can or can’t do regarding his or her athletes from his school team. I think that’s the first step.

Personally, I just have a real issue with a HS coach being paid in some way by one of his or her athletes. It just doesn’t ring right with me.

Let me explain why.

On one hand, there are plenty of well-meaning coaches who are on the payroll of the local school HS but who feel that the only way to build a strong and competitive HS program is to run a club team or offer private coaching in the summer. That kind of drive and effort from the coach is to be saluted. But you can quickly see the issues therein. This is one of those delicate developments that didn’t exist a generation ago, but it sure does now. Consider:

0 A sports parent will suddenly realize that his son is not getting much playing time on the HS basketball team. Then he finds out that the Coach runs a travel program in the summer, and that it’s “understood” that if his kid wants to get a better look from the coach, it would behoove the kid to be on that summer travel team. And bring your checkbook.

0 Another sports parent hears from his daughter that the softball coach thinks she needs to improve her swing. And perhaps she would benefit if she signed up for private lessons from the coach during the off-season. Again, bring your checkbook.

Of course, what happens when an athlete and his/her family can’t afford to do a pay-for-play in the summer time? Or the kid plays a different sport in the off-season?

That’s a real concern to many athletes and their parents.

Before you make up your mind, consider this:

In the state of Ohio, starting in 2017, HS coaches have been free to coach their HS players in the off-season and charge for it. Same with private instruction for a fee.

Why? Because in Ohio, it turns out that too many talented HS coaches were leaving traditional HS varsity programs in order to coach travel teams where they had more freedom, fewer restrictions and could make more money. In effect, the Ohio State Athletic Assn. – which for years had banned HS coaches from coaching their players in the off-season – did a total 180 and decided to get rid of the ban in the hope that HS coaches would stay with their HS programs. The state officials concluded that they rather have certified and qualified HS coaches working with their kids on club teams rather than allow pretty much anyone with no qualifications to run a travel team. At least the HS coaches, it was pointed out, were trained educators with CPR and background checks.

I haven’t had time to do a thorough check of all the state laws on this, but my preliminary research suggests that most states DO NOT have a uniform law on this; rather, they leave the question in the hands of either local school districts, or league conferences. For example, in NYS, that’s the approach, i.e. let the individual school district set their policy on coaches who moonlight.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?

If you’re a sports parent, and have a youngster in elementary school, it seems like a good idea to ask your local Athletic Director as to what the school policy is about HS coaches who run travel teams for HS kids in the summer time. You should really press them for a written policy that is totally transparent.

That way, you can start figuring out how your son or daughter is going to be affected by all of this.

Bear in mind that a lot of sports parents have no issue with any of this. That is, the fact that their kid’s HS coach is available to work with the kids pretty much all year round is fine with them. Sure, there might be an appearance of a conflict of interest, but for them, it’s no big deal. But again, if their kid is already a starter or gets a lot of playing time already, then this works fine.

But for the kid who plays different sports, or who has to work at a job in the summer, or a kid on the bubble to make the team, this kind of “expectation” from the HS coach can been quite daunting.

Put it this way: if your kid was struggling in math class, and as the parent, you approached the math teacher, and said: “Look, I’ll pay you to tutor my kid in math,” doesn’t that seem parallel to the concerns here? I mean, wouldn’t the math teacher then feel obliged to give your kid better grades – -especially if you’re paying them?

Bottom line: This issue needs to be addressed very carefully, and whatever the final determination is, the school district needs to be abundantly clear so that the coaches, parents, and kids are all well-informed.

Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21 Elizabeth Moeller 6/26/21

PARENTS V. COACHES: Confronting the Issue of Playing Time

It probably won’t come as a surprise to you that the Number One complaint or concern that parents have about their kid’s coach is playing time.

Of all the issues I hear about, this is the key issue that pops up all the time – both between coaches AND parents.

For example, I’m sure you’ve have heard in the news over the last couple of weeks about the HS basketball coach from Robeson HS in Brooklyn who felt threatened by an angry sports parent who had complained about his kid’s lack of playing time on the school basketball team. According to numerous account, the Dad confronted the coach at the coach’s home, and the coach, in order to protect himself, shot the parent in a scuffle, wounding both the parent and the coach.

Hard to believe, but true. We live in a time where angry sports parents attacking coaches is a real and ongoing concern.

So how did we get to this point?

Remember, back in the day, when parents actually supported their kid’s HS coaches, the general rule of thumb was when a youngster came home from practice or a game and groused about not getting enough playing time to his or her parents, the usual and customary response was, “Well, you just have to buckle down, and outwork the kid who’s playing ahead of you….you’re going to have to prove to your coach that you’re the better player.”

There was never any talk about firing off an angry email or phone call to the coach or AD. There was no talk about transferring to a different school to play for a different coach. Kids who wanted to gain more PT basically did what they could to impress their coach.

But of course, these days that’s no longer how it’s done. Kids and their parents are often pumped up by travel and club coaches who often tell the kid and their parent what he or she wants to hear; that they are stars in the making, that they have made tremendous progress, and that they should be starting for the HS team.

Remember, these are travel team coaches who are being paid by the parents to coach their kid, so the flattering words and kind comments may be exaggerated. Problem is, even though the flattery is good to hear, those words often don’t do much in terms of impressing the head coach at the HS.

In short, the HS coach ends up being confronted by an angry parent who informs the coach that their kid was indeed a star on his travel team, and that his travel coach says he should be a star for the school team as well.

As you might imagine, that kind of approach doesn’t lead to a solution.

So, are there any solutions regarding playing time?

We know that some HS coaches make a concerted effort to get every kid on the bench into each game – even if it’s only for a short period of time. That’s a big responsibility, to be sure. But the coach knows that every kid on his roster comes to each game with the hope that he or she will get in, even for a couple of minutes. And that the kid’s parents in the stands feel the same way.

But for the coach who is trying to focus on winning, it’s often difficult to get quality playing time for all the kids.

Other coaches go in a different direction, and will explain to kids on the bench NOT to expect any playing time at all. They feel that being “honest” and “upfront” with the kids is the best route. But in the end, if you keep telling your benchwarmers that they should never expect to play, how does that serve to motivate them? In fact, I would argue that it only serves to de-motivate and demoralize them.

Now, everybody agrees that when kids are in the youth level leagues, everybody needs to get equal playing time. That’s a given.

It’s only when the kids get a little older – like around middle school OR on travel teams – where parents start to get a little chippy about playing time.

I’ve advocated for a long, long time that if your son or daughter is not getting what they think is their fair share of playing time, they need to approach the coach by themselves….that your kid talks to the coach– NOT the parent.

Is this difficult for your child? Yes? Is it important? Yes?

But teaching your child to stand up and to ask questions of a grown-up is an important life lesson. It’s the only effective way for an athlete to try and find out what he or she needs to improve upon to garner more playing time. Coaches will talk to their players; they are not eager to talk with the parents.

As a caring parent, you can and should let your athlete rehearse what they want to say to the coach.

And…this is important – at no point should your child talk about, or denigrate any of their teammates.

Now….if your son or daughter comes home and is not happy with how the talk went, it’s at that point that you – as an adult – can arrange to meet with the coach to discuss the issues.

Just remember – the same rules apply to you. Rehearse your questions….be respectful…and no discussion of any other kids on the team.

However, if your son or daughter expects their coach to immediately give them more playing time, they are fooling themselves. It still boils down to more hard and dedicated work by your youngster to impress the coach.